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Why Every Day is Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2012

Oh, Valentine’s Day. Some love you, some hate you, and some flat-out ignore you, generally depending on their relationship status. I happen to be single, for the 20th consecutive Valentines Day. It is hard not to be a little bitter, especially when today also marks my 20th consecutive year of being single on my birthday. However, I know that I am loved. In fact, my best friend just texted me to declare her undying love to me (love you too, SBF!). More than that, however, I believe every day is, or should be, Valentine’s Day.

Why does our society need Valentines Day to show love to each other? What is so spectacular about Februrary 14th that  it results in millions of roses, chocolates, wine, dates (and possibly babies)? If you really love someone, you should be showing that love every day, and I believe that most do. Love does not need to be a big production, a fancy declaration accompanied by flowers and candies. Love doesn’t need to be a long-awaited reunion in the rain or a meeting at the top of the Empire State Building. Love is shown everyday, in the little ways we speak our love: our Love Language.

I was pretty certain that my Love Language was either Service or Quality Time. I was correct (it’s both), according to The Five Love Languages which explains Love Languages and has a quiz to help you determine yours. However, knowing your Love Language isn’t as important as recognizing the Love Language of others. We all have different Love Languages, and if we do not understand that others show their love in different ways than we do personally, we can miss or misunderstand their signs of love. For example, my family is not big on Giving Gifts. Our Love Languages tend to be Service and Quality Time, and Giving Gifts is not a language that we understand very well. However, Giving Gifts is my grandma’s primary Love Language. It baffles and even frustrates my family to be showered with clothes, money, food, and other presents that we do not think we need. We cannot understand why Grandma persists on giving us gifts and bringing us food when we have told her that it is not necessary. The explanation is simple: she is speaking her Love Language. That is how she shows her love, and it is the only way she knows.

I know that many women complain that their men are not romantic enough, or never show their love. I think that these men do, and their wives/girlfriends are missing their men’s Love Language. I have observed that men often show their love through small actions, not grandiose gestures. Did he unclog the toilet and fix the leaky faucet last week? Did he change the oil in your car? Did he rub your stinky feet last night? Did he fetch your wallet from your purse while you were shopping online? Did he listen while you complained about your co-workers? Did he feed your cat? These are all the little ways he shows his love. The same goes for women, who usually have different styles of Love Languages than men. The point is, every day, we engage in behaviors that show those around us that we love and care for them. Every day, we speak our individual Love Language. This is why every day is Valentine’s Day.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Cassafrass permalink
    February 16, 2012 2:46 pm

    I read that book last semester. Loved it!

  2. February 18, 2012 11:02 am

    Very nicely written, Tia. You seem to have your feet on the ground. When someone worthy of you, finds you, they will be a very lucky person.
    The in your face marketing of Valentines day is a great reminder for us males, as “we” almost ALWAYS wait until we are on our way home from work before we buy anything. It can also be one more wound in the heart of anyone who is badly longing for a recipient, or for those who have lost a great love.

    i really like your thinking on this. I hope that you will find someone who is worthy of you, when you are ready to find that person.

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